Emma McVey – wife of Geordie Shore alum Gaz Beadle – has spoken out about her fears that she would never wake up again after her recent open heart surgery.
The 30-year-old model and influencer worried she was saying her last goodbye as she kissed her husband and their two children before the operation.
“That was the hardest bit," she said. "I had to mentally prepare myself that it could be my last goodbye.
“I knew in surgery I’d be connected to a heart machine that would be keeping me alive while my heart was stopped, and I kept thinking, ‘They’re not going to be able to start my heart again’. I thought, ‘I'm going to get put to sleep and I'm not coming back out’.”
Emma also revealed that before leaving for hospital, she planned a daily morning treasure hunt for the kids Chester, five, and Primrose, three, to distract them from her absence, with prizes including kids' cameras and personalised baking sets.
“They came to the hospital to drop me off and Gary had to drive away with the kids crying their eyes out after we said goodbye," she told The Sun.
Emma went under the knife in late January to fix three holes in her heart as well as to fix a valve, but shortly after the operation she suffered from a collapsed lung.
She was then rushed back into hospital and Gaz later labelled the ordeal "the hardest thing [the] family will ever go through".
At the time Gaz took to Instagram to update his fans, telling them: "Think it’s very important on here to always show the hard times not just the good stuff… this is the hardest thing our family will ever go through.
"Kids have been so brave but also cried and been emotional wrecks at bed times and mornings and just missing mummy like crazy…
"Emma even with today the news 1 of her lungs has collapsed and is now on oxygen to help bring it back over the weekend, hasn’t stopped her 1 bit," the proud husband continued, as he praised his wife.
"Today when i went in for the hour we get as it clashes with school pick up she was up and walking to the toilet herself, which is just amazing and she is just smashing it and we are so proud!
"Always messaging in between sleeping checking on the kids checking they have gone to sleep ok checking how there day has been honestly love you so much what a mummy and wife u are."
Emma had sadly suffered years of seizures, exhaustion and fainting episodes due to her heart condition – but while the diagnosis was illuminating, medics were cautious about operating due to her chronic battle with ulcerative colitis.
After regaining consciousness she felt “pain coming from all over”.
Following the surgery, Emma has been left with an eight inch heart surgery scar – which she has since claimed she'll "never be ashamed" of – as well as two chest tubes to drain blood, another in her neck.
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