No Rachel Bilson, you don't have to be on top to orgasm

It’s 2023, and we’re in the era of celebrities sharing no filter details about their sex lives.

Popstar Christina Aguilera recently revealed her preferences when it comes to oral sex, and Gwyneth Paltrow is spilling the tea on her exes’ skills in the bedroom.

And now, actress Rachel Bilson is once again sharing some NSFW content.

The O.C star recently revealed that she was not able to orgasm during penetrative sex until she was almost 40. And now, speaking on a podcast, she’s shared her top tip for climaxing during sex.

‘I’ve learned that if you want to have an orgasm during sex, you have to be on top,’ she said.

Of course, it’s important to note that sex isn’t a goal based activity – you can purely be along for the ride, so to speak.

But if you do want to orgasm, while everyone has their own preferred ways to get there, there’s isn’t just one route in order to do so.

Ness Cooper, clinical sexologist, and resident expert at Je Joue, says that many people do find that ‘on top’ sex positions can result in more stimulation for the clitoris, leading to orgasm.

She explains: ‘When an individual with a vulva is on top, particularly when leaning forward, it can allow them to grind their clitoris over their partner’s pubic mound.

‘This can help lead to clitoral orgasms during penetration more easily than in some positions where the clitoris doesn’t rub against the other person’s body so much.’

Another reason why some may enjoy on top sex positions more is because they can require more core activation, when compared to missionary positions.

‘When there is more activation, some find that it can increase blood flow to the genitals and pelvic floor activation. This can result in strong orgasms and better physical arousal,’ says Ness.

There’s also the idea that you’re more in control when on top. ‘This position can be liberating as it allow you to take ownership and dominate your orgasm.’

But, if on top doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you’re destined for orgasm-less sex.

Ness says: ‘Orgasm can happen in various ways, and if you find a particular way that works for you then go for it!

‘People can enjoy orgasm in slid-lying sex positions, in all fours, during mutual or solo masturbation – and more.’

So why do some positions and sensations work for some, and not others?

‘There are a mixture of reasons, both physical and psychological,’ says Ness. ‘Fantasies and desire for orgasm can play a big part in the way we find certain positions and stimulation enjoyable.

‘Some sex positions and ways to orgasm have been standardised and it can make us forget that there are alternative ways to enjoy orgasms, so often it’s partly breaking away from these standardised sexual scripts of what people say should help us orgasm. 

‘We have various connected nerves that our bodies respond to and translate into pleasure – these aren’t just in the genitals – and can be stimulated in different areas for everyone.

‘Some sex positions are just not our thing too, and we simply just find others more exciting.’

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