Worst Christmas cracker jokes of all time ranked

Can’t get enough of the Christmas cracker jokes? We’ve got you covered.

We all love a Christmas dinner – but it wouldn't be the same without reading some classic cracker jokes.

Christmas cracker jokes are a festive staple. You know the ones – you'll find them in a Christmas cracker, alongside a party hat.

Yes, they might make you groan, but we all need some cheesy jokes in our lives this year.

Most of them are so bad that they are brilliant – and we love them and hate them at the same time.

In honour of Christmas Day, thortful.com has compiled a list of the nation’s worst Christmas cracker jokes.

Thortful asked the UK to submit their favourite Christmas Cracker jokes – and vote for the ones they believed to be the worst.

Having analysed the entries and votes, thortful has revealed the corniest puns of them all.

Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes

1. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

3. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer

4. What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we'll go places

5. Why are christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles

  • Christmas tree train sets make a comeback in nostalgic trend loved by Mrs Hinch

6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis

7. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve.

8. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season

9. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper

10. What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can't beat it!

  • Christmas fans drive partners' mad with massive life-sized gonks from Homesense

Still want more?

Here are a few that didn’t make the top 10 list:

What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful

How do you know if a snowman is actually a lady? It has snowballs (no balls, get it?)

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.

Think you’ve got a worse one? Let us know in the comments below!

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